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“I was born with a gift, a very powerful gift. And there’s alot of gifted people, and I noticed alot of gifted people shipwreck. People who are gifted with great beauty don’t quite know how to dish and deal it. People who are gifted with money, you can see how easily they can run off the rails. People who are gifted with very high intelligence, and a number of them that wind up alcoholic and isolated. In fact, the whole notion of having a gift, there is this requirement in it to test it, to ride close to the edge. It seems part and parcel of the very notion of the gift to rebel against it and to see whether is really real, because it can be very easily dissipated or damaged or ultimately destroyed. And I had an immense problem with it. And for the rest of my life I will struggle against the embracing of the mysterious self-distructing, self-murder, the urge to deny, defy, wreck, ruin, challenge one’s gift. Because it is a very precious thing, it’s kind of an incredible permision. I was born with this with this… gift, or this infliction, and I hope to get mature and protective and to choose into enlarge it and share it. And that’s the only purpose of my existance.”


  1. aaap, mdap!

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